For Myself

Showing Kindness Consistently Requires Strength There's something ironic, almost comical, about the notion that kindness is a weakness. We often hear about the "dog-eat-dog world" of business, and the idea that we gain no respect for being open, transparent, or vulnerable as leaders. And yet, a growing body of research from the likes of renowned leadership experts Prof. Richard Boyatzis at Case Western Reserve University and Prof. Richard Ryan - co-founder of Self-Determination Theory - strongly indicates that leaders who are compassionate and kind get much more from their teams than authoritarian leaders who micromanage and push for compliance. In fact, leaders who are likeable are often viewed as effective leaders (there are, of course, exceptions to the rule). Teams who are led by kind and compassionate leaders are also more likely to be " happier at work, go above and beyond what is required of them, experience greater well-being, and perform at a higher level. " According to Richard Ryan's Self-Determination Theory, humans have three fundamental needs that allow us to flourish and be at the top of our game. These are: Relatedness (being connected to others); Competence (having the support to grow, learn and contribute); and Autonomy (the freedom to have choices over our performance and behaviours). Leaders who are kind, compassionate and supportive help ensure that these needs are met by cultivating a culture built on trust, respect and mutual value. As a result, people are more engaged , committed to common goals and objectives, and are more willing to follow their leader's direction. Why, then, it is so hard for some leaders to be kind and compassionate? To begin with, many leaders see kindness as a quality that reduces their image of a strong leader. When we think of conventional leadership, we might think of the strong-minded, take-charge character who makes bold decisions for the greater good. They might have the attitude that strong leadership isn't about being liked - it's about being respected and being in command of situations and people. One of history's most revered "strongman" leaders is Alexander the Great who, by the age of 25, conquered the Persian Empire and at 30, was an explorer of the Indian frontier. By the time of his death at the age of 32, his empire stretched from Greece to modern-day Pakistan. Aside from his strategic brilliance and prowess on the battlefield, Alexander commanded great respect and devotion from his men because he was so attuned to their needs. A leader far ahead of his time, he would regularly acknowledge feats of bravery in battle and recall acts of valour by fallen heroes within the ranks. As one of history's greatest military minds, Alexander knew the value of being a kind and just leader if he wanted to maintain devotion to his cause throughout his empire. Another reason why some leaders find it difficult to be kind is that it can leave leaders feeling vulnerable and open to exploitation. That said, kindness isn't about being a doormat or agreeing to every idea and suggestion that comes our way. Being a kind leader is about consistently offering appropriate recognition, support and validation to team members. Sometimes, support can come in the form of calling out unhelpful behaviours or poor performances and offering a clear rationale for whatever action you feel needs to be taken to address an issue. At the heart of being a kind leader is respect for others. On the contrary to being a weakness, kindness is a quality of strength in effective leadership - and it also requires a lot of strength for leaders to show kindness consistently. As leaders, we need the courage to be open and vulnerable with our people; we need the courage to confront our own ego and acknowledge that our success is largely brought about by the people around us: we are the conductors while our team members are the ones who ultimately deliver the results. We also need the strength to take the criticisms and judgements that come our way. As leaders, we don't just lead people who admire and respect us - we have to find ways to connect with those who don't always agree with what we do or how we do it. Our critics might have their points, in which case we also need the strength to reflect honestly on how we are doing as leaders. Ideally, that includes soliciting feedback from those who work alongside us. And like every other human being, we need the strength to accept our imperfections and flaws and the fact that we will mess up and make mistakes on occasion. No-one who ever tried to achieve anything worthwhile did so without stumbling along the way or taking a wrong turn now and again. As leaders, we juggle all of the above with the understanding that many people look to us for guidance, support, inspiration and motivation on a daily basis. Whether they're stressed, overwhelmed or feeling underappreciated, the leader will often be the one to take the brunt of people's frustrations, directly or indirectly; merited or otherwise. Regardless, part of our role as leaders is to support people to the best of our ability. Again, it's not that we become doormats. When people genuinely create issues, we need to take appropriate action; however, in being supportive we honour the nature of what it means to be a leader and uphold our responsibility and commitment to the team members we choose to lead. (Even if you didn't choose your team members directly, you still choose to lead the team you have). One of my personal heroes is St. Mother Teresa (1910-1997) who was the epitome of the kind and compassionate servant leader. She faced great adversity, challenging circumstances, and had a number of critics. While we all have our opinions on great leaders throughout history, each of them was like each of us today: complex people struggling against our own imperfections as we try our best to navigate and make sense of a messy and uncertain world. Kindness is crucial - and it requires a lot of strength as we deal with the challenges that life throws at us. And yet, it makes a powerful difference to have an anchor and an example to look to whenever we feel as though we're getting caught up in a strong tide. For me, the anchor that grounds me is Mother Teresa. Like her, I have my imperfections, and I do my best however I can and learn from my mistakes as much as I can. Unlike her, I'm far from sainthood, but the example of Mother Teresa's strength through her kindness inspires me greatly and I work to emulate that kindness every day. I don't get it right all the time and I'm still learning from this extraordinary example of a determined leader who dedicated her life to serving others. In the meantime, I am grateful to have recently been reminded of her wonderful advice, which inspires me daily to carry on through challenges, obstacles and adversity. Here is Mother Teresa's advice, and I hope it can bring inspiration, hope, and a sense of groundedness to readers who might be struggling with their own imperfections as they navigate this complex and uncertain world: People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Honing leadership qualities by doing good One of the great things about Malaysia – besides roti canai, the weather, and the awe-inspiring Olympic athletes – is the desire of the nation’s people to help others whenever and however they can. The qualities that struck me the most when I first visited the country in 2011 was the generous hospitality of Malaysians, the enduring commitment to family values, and the strong community spirit that exists here. Moving here in 2015, as editor of Leaderonomics.com, under Roshan's stewardship, I soon became aware of some of the social issues that cause many people to face problems through no fault of their own, which is sadly something that exists everywhere. But I was also inspired by the amount of work that goes on to help alleviate the plight of those who struggle to help themselves, and by the care and determination that goes into extending a helping hand to our fellow human beings. And this is where the sense of community thrives, in the recognition that by lifting other people up, we meet them eye-to-eye and help them to rise even further. There’s also the humbling realisation that it’s purely by the grace we have received that we’re in the fortunate position to help others, and therefore we should. It could so easily have been ourselves looking for the outstretched hand of support and compassion. Multiplier effect of help As someone who has been involved in volunteer initiatives, I know first-hand just how much of a difference it can make to people when they receive the support and services that offer them much-needed help. At the same time, I also know very well the numerous benefits that come to the person who volunteers their time, skills and resources. There’s something about giving in a direct way that not only facilitates a connection between ourselves and the other: those we help also help us in turn by offering a way for us to reconnect with ourselves, to remind us of our core values, of what’s important to us, and to have a deep sense of gratitude for blessings we so often fail to count. Of the many fantastic initiatives that exist here in Malaysia, I was inspired by one that describes itself as “a matchmaker of goodwill” – such a wonderful goal, and one that’s much needed in a world that seems to be constantly battered by division and mistrust. Of course, it’s the bad news that sells – but there is a wealth of good that goes on, and truckloads of good deeds are carried out every day here in Malaysia. Help yourself grow too As well as the many benefits that come with helping others, volunteering is perhaps most valuable in terms of allowing those who volunteer to develop wide-ranging skills, build confidence, and learn to thrive outside their comfort zones. In a nutshell, those who volunteer inadvertently develop leadership qualities within themselves, and the more benevolent and resourceful leaders a country has, the better its chances to thrive for generations to come. Having worked as a political press officer many moons ago, I often heard a common refrain from people who were desperate to see change within their communities and across the wider society. It would go something like this, “Someone should really do something – we need to strengthen our ties in the community,” or, “Why doesn’t somebody do something to change things around here – there’s so much potential.” While it’s right that people should expect their representatives and key community figures to roll up their sleeves to help others, after sympathising with people’s concerns I usually ask, “Why don’t you be that someone?” It seemed that a lot of people didn’t even consider that they could be the ones to make the difference, that they could create change, that they could help others. After all, people in communities know the needs of their communities better than anyone else. First steps need not be big steps Quite often, there’s a misconception that in order to effect change, a person needs to be a Martin Luther King Jr or a Mother Teresa – in other words, if it’s not a big change, it’s not significant enough to make the effort. On the contrary, the likes of Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King created major changes through small acts of change that added up over time. These were people just like anybody else, and any one of us are just as capable of creating the kind of change we want to see in the world. It starts wherever we are, in our streets and communities, churches, mosques and temples, community halls, schools and universities. There is always so much to do that, sometimes, it can seem a little overwhelming to know where to begin. But when one person is helped, he or she in turn may be able to help five more, and those five might each help 10 more, and on it goes – all because we decided to give something back and help others to unlock their own potential so that they might help others in turn. Whether you have a lot of time to spare or a little, it all adds up to making a worthwhile dent in the difficulties and suffering that are experienced daily. Many of us can be found talking a lot about the need for change, and I’ve been on both sides of the fence to know that shouting at the politicians, authorities and figureheads of institutions serves only to widen divisions and encourage hoarse throats. If we wish to help others through positive social change, we shouldn’t forget that, along with the rights we enjoy, there are responsibilities we are each expected to uphold if a civilised and fair society is to thrive. In volunteering our services, we offer a very valuable gift: our time and consideration to others. In reflecting on this, I’m reminded of St Francis’s instruction to his brothers – “preach by your deeds” –and of John F. Kennedy’s plea that we should, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” 3 Ways Volunteering Develops Leadership: 1. You learn a lot. Quickly When I was involved in a new local radio station, I brought my media and PR skills to the table. Every volunteer has their set of strengths… but invariably, new skills are picked up along the way. From others’ expertise, I learnt about funding applications, administration, event management, radio production, on-air presenting, basic finance, and how to make several types of tea! 2. You build confidence – and passion Having spent my career as a journalist, and advising others what to say, the idea of presenting a radio show terrified me. It wasn’t so much the presenting itself, it was simultaneously juggling all other associated skills – it’s a tough gig! After a while though, I began to grow in confidence and presenting became second-nature. What’s more, I loved doing it. Volunteering is a great way to push beyond your (perceived) limitations. 3. You build a network and solid connections When volunteering, you meet a number of people who are able to offer unique insights and help you expand your existing skills and knowledge base. Networking and building relationships is a key leadership trait and even if, like me, you prefer back-seat roles, having a few key connections and relationships can nevertheless be enormously beneficial.

11 years ago, I witnessed one of my dreams being realised – the birth of our volunteer portal, Do Good Volunteer (now known as MAD For Good). This volunteer portal matches people like you and me, who desire to help and volunteer but never know where to look for volunteering opportunities, with organisations that need help and resources. For years, I longed to see this “connection” happen, and finally, our team at Leaderonomics, with help from the team at The Star, has managed to pull off this magical portal. But why was this so important to me and my team at Leaderonomics? Because volunteerism is how our nation can be transformed. More than that, volunteerism is the under-utilised secret weapon that individuals and corporations can leverage to take your organisation to greater heights. The Weapon For some strange reasons, in many corporations, volunteerism and CSR get branded together and are usually thrown to HR leaders to manage. Most business leaders view it as an activity that organisations need to occasionally dabble in. And for HR, there are usually more pressing issues like ensuring employee productivity, retention, and enabling their talent to grow and develop new skills and abilities. Volunteerism is thus thrust to the backburner as a nice to-do. What most leaders fail to understand is that volunteerism enables HR to achieve all their goals. Additionally, it provides a vehicle for the business to reach a lot of its strategic goals. And it is free. You want to live longer? We know volunteering is good for your soul. But do you know that volunteering drives up productivity in organisations? Study after study show that volunteers actually live longer and have lower rates of disease than their peers who don’t volunteer, no matter what age. Research from both the Mayo Clinic and the University of California conclude that there are significant health benefits to volunteering, including lower mortality rates. Another study concluded that retirees over 65 who volunteered had less than half the risk of dying compared to their non-volunteering peers. “We found that volunteering remains a powerful predictor of decreased mortality among retirees, even after extensive adjustment for possible confounding factors,” wrote the study’s authors. “Yes, volunteers live longer”, chimes Dr Gary Kennedy, who was one of the doctors who led another study in San Francisco. In yet another study, people with chronic pain who volunteered as peer counsellors found that their heart diseases, disability, chronic pain and feelings of depression all lessened from volunteering. A Duke University study found that individuals who volunteered after experiencing heart attacks reported reductions in despair and depression two factors that that have been linked to mortality in post-coronary artery disease patients. Imagine the implications for HR from ensuring volunteerism is a key agenda in your organisation: lower medical bills, fitter employees, more engaged workforce, people happier and more productive and you would have employees that lived very long and happy lives. Combating Depression In fact, the most common workplace issue is stress and depression. And what is a possible 'cure'? You guessed right - volunteerism! Volunteering combats depression. When we volunteer, our bodies produce oxytocin, which counters stress hormones associated with depression, such as cortisol and epinephrine. A key risk factor for depression is social isolation. Volunteering keeps you in regular contact with others and enables you to develop a firm support system, protecting you against stress and depression in challenging times. “People who are socially engaged will have a better quality of life and better survival,” reinforces Dr Gary Kennedy. In fact, employees who volunteer have higher self-confidence levels than those who don’t. Volunteering provides a healthy boost to your self-esteem and life contentment. Doing good for others and the community provides a natural sense of accomplishment and purpose. It also gives you a sense of pride and identity. And the better you feel about yourself, the more likely you are to have a positive view of your life and perform much better at work and at complicated tasks. But the most important benefit that volunteerism brings to organisations is that it is a proven way to develop leaders. Leaders are developed by experiences. A number of years ago, I led the volunteer organisation at General Electric (GE) and observed many careers developed through volunteerism. One such case was Sheela Chandran, who rose from an administrative assistant to a regional leader. Even as a secretary, Sheela got involved in organising volunteer activities for everyone at the office. She learned to influence people to support her causes and learned to mobilise groups of people. At volunteer events, she would project manage, lead and give instructions to all of us to follow. She learned numerous leadership skills (for free!) by volunteering and leading volunteering efforts. Her developing ability as a leader was noticed and she was promoted to more senior roles in the organisation. Volunteering can also help you build upon skills you already have and use them to further your career. Just like Sheela, who improved her public speaking, communication, marketing and influencing skills, HR leaders should leverage volunteerism as a great leadership development tool. And in many cases, especially for young people, there are not many leadership roles available in your workplace to practice leadership. Volunteering provides your young people opportunity to practice leadership. Another interesting research fact: 90% of successful corporate leaders were involved in some form of community work whilst they were young, enabling them to practice leadership at an early age. Yet many of these leaders have forgotten that this same means of their development should now be leveraged for their employee’s development. So, why do organisations not reap the benefits of volunteerism in a bigger way? Part of the issue is the perception that volunteering requires heaps of time. But for you to live longer and benefit from the great side effects of volunteerism, research shows that you would only need to invest about 100 volunteer hours a year. That breaks down to two to three hours a week. Just two to three hours a week and you experience higher productivity, live longer and have better self-esteem. Final Thoughts Volunteers are often the glue that holds a community together. Volunteering allows you and your organisation to connect to your community and make it a better place. There is much power in businesses engaging their workforce to volunteer on a regular basis. Research suggests another advantage for self-sacrificing volunteers – the ability to get dates. Surprisingly, women rate such altruism high on their list of desirable traits in a mate. So, go ahead and volunteer. It’s easy and if you don’t know where to start, create an account at MAD For Good and start your journey to a long life.

If volunteering as an individual seems like a lonely task, why not volunteer as a group or as a company? We often relegate volunteering to the side, thinking about it as some feel good activity we do every once in a while to make ourselves feel better. However what a lot of people don’t realise is that volunteering is a very effective way of accelerating the development of our leadership. Here are some reasons why volunteering is great for your development: 1. Develop your skills through practice, practice, practice If you are someone who is hungry to learn, volunteering is a great way to pick up new skills and develop existing ones. At work, we have our roles that we invest time and effort into. We spend hours upon hours doing what we do, but ultimately, the amount of exposure we get is limited by the scope of our roles. By exposing ourselves to other tasks outside of work where we can grow new skills, we can really accelerate our personal development. Here are the top skills you hone by getting involved in community work: · Communication · Leadership · Teamwork · Fundraising · Problem solving · Public speaking Rather than just sitting down in a training session and learning how to communicate effectively, why not put it into practice in a real life community project. Community work is about action and getting results, and we learn much quicker when we do something rather than by listening. When we practically do something and learn by doing, studies show we learn seven times more effectively than when we’re just told how to do it. It’s the ultimate win-win situation – organisations get the help they need, and we get access to a training ground. 2. Increase your career opportunities According to a TimeBank survey with 200 of the largest companies in the United Kingdom, 73% of the companies said they would hire a candidate with volunteering experience over one without. A CV that is filled not only in the Work Experience section, but also in the Volunteering section, demonstrates extra capabilities like the ability to take initiative, adaptability to different environments and the capacity to relate to different groups of society. There are benefits for employees who volunteer as well. The same survey showed that 94% of employees who volunteer, either got the job, or got a pay increase or received a promotion because of the new skills they learned by volunteering. 3. Gain confidence That pay increase and promotion may also have something to do with a stronger sense of confidence. Research by Deakin University published in the Journal of Social Service Research shows that volunteering boosts optimism and perceived control, resulting in better well-being. A Cornell University says it boosts energy and gives volunteers a sense of mastery over their lives, especially later in midlife. With higher belief in self, and more experience via involvement in different volunteer opportunities, individuals are poised for greater personal growth. 4. Learn to lead authentically Volunteering forces you to build credible leadership. We’re not usually given fancy titles when we volunteer. When tasked with playing a leadership role in a volunteering context, we have to earn the respect and trust of the other volunteers in the team. They have no obligation to follow you just because you may be manager of a corporation. Leadership in the community sphere takes creativity too, because community organisations are typically short on resources. So we have to be creative to make things happen. Richard Pound, Chancellor of McGill University, wrote in a Forbes article that volunteering early in your careers is one of the most powerful ways for younger managers to understand and experience the type of leadership needed for the C-Suite. At the C-level, it is not just about paying people and dangling enough incentive, but it’s about persuasion and getting people to follow you. It’s the movement from what John Maxwell terms Positional Leadership (getting people to follow you because of your position) to the Pinnacle (where people follow you because of what you stand for and who you are). 5. Build a community network Volunteering is great for networking. Fellow volunteers come from all industries and all age groups, and engagement with the heads of non-profit organisations will also keep you in the loop of the needs of the community. In this relationship, both parties can win. Organisations get the help that they need, and your large and diverse connections may attract partnerships that would not otherwise happen. Customers like knowing when people and organisations are socially responsible, and this may be a key factor in setting you or your organisation apart from the rest. For Sir Richard Branson, founder and chairman of Virgin Group, he sees his investment into community initiatives like Virguin Uniteas essential for the reputation he wants to build for the Virgin Group. In an interview, he remarked that “business leaders must remember that a healthy profit means that a community supports and appreciates the products and services a business offers, and also how that business is managed”. People also want to work for a company they believe in, and when people are happy, the workforce is productive. Yet, all that being said, people generally still don’t volunteer for various reasons that include procrastination, or it just appearing too hard. Here are some ways to make volunteering easier: 1. Pick volunteer opportunities that suit your interests, skills and availability Not everyone has a lot of free time, and not everyone has the same interests, but there are all sorts of needs out there. That’s why Leaderonomics builtwww.dogoodvolunteer.com to house organisations with different causes from all over Malaysia so that you can find opportunities that suit your interests and availabilities. You’ll be amazed by the variety of opportunities available. We typically imagine volunteering to involve working with children in a home, but there are so many different needs in the community that fit all sorts of interests and exercise different skills. It could involve raising awareness of human trafficking with an organisation like Change Your World and Project Liber8, or it may be helping to create learning videos for EduNation, who are building a database of free education resources for Malaysian students. Pick something that fits your interests and develop the skill you want to work on. We have close to 200 community organisations on our portal now and all require help in different ways. 2. Engage in volunteering as a company If volunteering as an individual seems like a lonely task, why not volunteer as a group or as a company? Increasingly, companies are recognising the value of mobilising their employees for community efforts for skill building, exposure and also for community impact. Companies like Sime Darby recognise that in getting its employees to be involved in planning and implementing community projects, it is accelerating their talent development. Employees have to exercise communication, leadership and project management skills, and creativity. Importantly, employees also develop initiative and social awareness. Check if your company has an employment volunteer programme. The Star, for instance, encourages employees to volunteer by giving them an allowance of volunteer hours that can be claimed back as leave. If nothing is in place, why not rally together work colleagues to volunteer, or even take the lead in coordinating the team. Volunteering is one of those hidden gems in life. It sits at the side, sometimes on the fringe of our thoughts, but when we realise how much potential it can unleash in us and through us, we’ll come to the realisation that we need to actively put more time and effort into volunteering. The beauty of it also is that anyone and everyone can do it, regardless of your skill, age and location, even despite of the differences in all your interests. It’s an avenue to improved leadership that is available. So take a look at MAD For Good and you will find something that suits you.